No one ever sees the tears that fall,
when the sun has gone to sleep,
and never is one to wipe away,
the flood upon each cheek.
As I curl beneath the covers,
there’s a war I cannot fight,
my emotions, unfiltered, abandon shame,
running naked into the night.
I hear sincere apologetics,
and most can predict or quote,
but never have I found a savior,
who’ll loose the tie around my throat.
Rather, it seems, if ‘He’s’ involved at all,
He’s standing by letting evil win,
And much more palpable is the thought,
That he’s just turned His back again.
No water to quench or drug to numb,
my body is filled with fire,
I cannot surrender what I don’t control,
suffocating in the mire.
The sound of fluids I cannot consume,
pumping into my skin,
in a few hours, I’ll take them out,
then start it all again.
Exhausted and weak to say the least,
not sure what else to try,
I cannot pray, or breathe or think,
so I turn again to cry.