I Wonder

I wonder if you’d notice me,
if I had nothing to give,
and would you ever think of me,
if I decided not to live?

If never were a tear to fall,
or another song to sing,
would it matter if I showed up at all,
if I had nothing to bring?

Is what you crave a deeper knowledge,
or perhaps a lustful jaunt,
when you close your eyes do you dream of beauty,
or do images only haunt?

Do you ever feel a fear so strong, 
it causes your heart to ache,
and is the terror ever so paralyzing,
even your strongest wall it breaks?

Have you ever thought the world would be,
better if you didn’t exist,
or thought about how you might end it,
pills, gun or slashing wrists?

Have you ever wanted to hide your tears,
and simultaneously explode,
or wanted so bad to run for help,
but instead you only froze?

Do you care what others think,
or have you risen above facade,
does it feel like you’re holding it together,
or have you given it to God?

The questions never cease,
and late at night I often ponder,
are you resting in a solid hope,
or lying awake in wonder?

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