To be known and delighted in…
My priest introduced me to one of Andrew Peterson’s songs, and one of the lyrics says,
“I’m scared if I open myself to be known, I’ll be seen and despised and be left all alone…”
…SUCH a real fear for so many of us that we never, or rarely, move out from behind the mask. We are convinced that hiding within the context of community is preferable and safer than risking to fully show up, being authentic and ultimately rejected and alone. But we’ve boxed ourselves in… what if it’s possible to be authentically known and remain safe within a community? … it is.
Little by little I’m shedding those old tapes that say I have to do or be a certain way in order to be accepted. I have told Ethan since he was little that I’m proud of him. He used to ask, “Why?” now he says, “Thank you.” He knows the answer to the why is along the lines of, because of who you are. I try never to tie that being proud to a performance or skill. I tell him how excited I am when he excels in something, or pours in a ton of effort for a difficult challenge, but my level of love, acceptance and being proud of him isn’t affected by how good, or less than ideal he is at “doing.”
I fail daily and get SO many things wrong… but I’m 100% sure I want him to know that my love is not and has never been tied to his performance.
I was prompted to journal this, after reading another great blog from Christy Johnson, Director of Communications at The Covenant School: http://www.thecovenantschool.com/blog/to-be-known/