How I Make It

The best thing I can do –
is hide,
Not let anyone see the fear,
or anyone else inside 

When prayers don’t reach the ceiling,
and you scoff at the hope of another,
it seems futile to tell the story, 
nothing changes, so why should we bother

A physical pierce in my heart,
I feel when you look in my eye –
But alone again in this pew, 
I’ve no words, just more tears to cry 

I can’t undo what’s been done 
Both to, and by and because of 
So protect what is left is my option 
No hope to ever walk in your God’s love

But show up – I continue to make it,
Though the smile you see is how I fake it,
I don’t know how much longer I can take it,
When the devil’s determined to break it.

At least my son has a chance,
for knowing this hope that you preach –
So I try to position him, with others less damaged
To absorb what I no longer reach.

Staring at light coming in,
too exhausted to run or fight –
Alone with the silence, I’ll put this away, 
’til I cry ’til I sleep tonight. 

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