It’s Getting Harder to Breathe 

It’s getting harder and harder to breathe –
The smile to mask the ache is failing.
And it’s becoming rather rote it seems
The nights consumed with wailing

Condensed is my portion of
 understanding,
 I cry out for peace but it feels too demanding – 
And my fear is that one day I’ll be left alone standing, 
As in darkness death’s victory becomes my new branding 

This pain in my gut
Like a dagger that burns
While clenching my pillow 
Under covers I turn 

My prayer hits the ceiling 
If it comes out my mouth
The words often silenced 
By thirst in the drought 

The panic, the fear,
the knot in my chest – 
Attached to the rope 
of a God who ‘knows best.’

They poke and prod
as leeches destroy
and throw me aside
like a trash worthy toy

Words seem to fail
And they’re ALL I have left!
When I look to the stars
And I’m beating my breast
And the answers don’t come 
I’m failing the test
My heart getting harder
The further from rest

On borrowed hope 
I make my way
Bracing for impact 
Of another day
Not knowing how long 
Clichés will sustain
I’m running on empty
I’m tired of the game 

Broken and ruined
Damaged and damned 
He could save if He wanted 
With a wave of His hand 

But now, alone, weeping
With no one to hear 
I fight with the lies 
Loud in each ear 

As the enemy grows 
And hope is diminished
I wonder how long
’til my sentence is finished. 

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3 thoughts on “It’s Getting Harder to Breathe 

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