Too Late

It feels like an ocean swirling behind your eyelids 
And you struggle to keep the flood contained 
It’s hard to separate the past from your fears 
But what good is another tear?

And rules don’t apply
It’s a crap shoot at best
Who is granted peace
and who dies a slow death

Another fucking night of ache
As you scream out to the sky 
And whatever is in the heavens 
Has no remedy or why
 
When truth feels more like fantasy
And lies cannot be separated 
And every moment you’re forced to forge
Is nothing short of hated

“God, where in heaven or hell are you?
Did you create me for such despair?
If you’re really ‘ok’ with what you’re seeing,
I don’t think I want to be an ‘heir.’

I’ve confessed and pleaded for mercy, 
for anything said or done – 
Help me get out of this devouring place, 
Or just leave me the hell alone.
Because I’m not sure what hurts more,
to feel abandoned and neglected
Or to be told that you’re actually with me 
Then reconcile being rejected.”

There’s nothing a human can do
they sleep,
I ache, weeping awake – 
And talk of hope and a future 
Just seems a few decades too late.

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