No Rest

No Rest

‘Awake before the sun’
Was not my mark
I’ll admit I’m not excited
To be staring at the dark

My heart is throbbing
Unrest in my soul
And this voice keeps tapping
‘You’ll never be whole’

I try to ignore it
Roll over and hide
But there aren’t enough covers
This devil’s inside

Much is quite well
But tangled in ruin
Is the sense that my value
Is only in doin’

Achieve and accomplish
Make it happen, ‘Just Do It’
More awards and a medal
Compliments? Just screw it
For none of it matters
They all collect dust 
And cloud my ability 
To hand over trust

Fear and control
I’m a cognoscente
Skeptical and stubborn
Long before twenty

Before learning to be vulnerable 
It was easy to sleep
Self was easy to define
Easy to keep

Replaying the years 
A movie in my mind
I’m often quite harsh
I’m rarely too kind

Critical it seems
May keep me in line
Far too dirty
For the bread and wine

So I stare at the stars
And wonder what’s next 
My thoughts search for hope 
My body, for rest

  

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