To forget

Sometimes the only wish I have is the ability to forget.

If I could close my eyes and count to three and all would be erased
But in my dreams the demons come and exhaust me in their chase

I wake to find reality growing bleak and darker still
And when I try to calm my mind it seems my mental state is ill

Decisions made can’t be undone and some I cannot fathom
That I committed such atrocities
just proves I’m sick and maddened

How could one take the purest fold that means more than it’s breath
and cover it with hate and shame and fear though not it’s death

The images all lather up and coat each thought and wink
I can’t escape the filthy bind that thickens with each blink

Forgiveness isn’t certain and what’s greater still I fear
That as each day ticks past in time the screams are all I’ll hear

My soul’s unrest with time gone by
I cannot catch a break
And though I didn’t ask for some
It’s myself that I do hate

If I could have one wish, a prayer
It would be to love in full
And that this deed god would erase and stop this aching pull

My heart is bending, it’s aching more and lines have all been crossed
As I lie awake and struggle to breathe, afraid I’m just too lost.

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