You’ll Love Me Through It or You Won’t

You’ll love me through it or you won’t
I can’t control what you do or don’t

My heart isn’t open
for more pain to feel
It’s hard to separate
which thoughts are real

The physical jolt
of each passing breath
Makes me feel as though I’m closer
to an untimely death

Why squander the air
when others can live
In hope and peace,
that I have not to give

My tears show the weak and vulnerable knots
In my chest and my throat real strength there is not

Futile and passing
and fleeting the sighs
Of mortal men searching
for resolve in my eyes

Trapped in between
what I love and what I fear,
The bleeding seems worse
with each passing year

Alone in the silence
my mind can’t contain
The visions, the fears
all soaking with shame

Desperate I cry
though my voice is low
Afraid now to burden
the ones that I know

Love has a timer
and limits of weight
And there’s only so much
even the strongest can take

So I hang in the balance
and the truth I can’t speak
And I try to ignore it
as I hide in my sleep

My heart is gushing
and lonely and torn
And I don’t understand
why I had to be born

A time that felt pure,
is far from my mind
His grace and his mercy,
all left behind

I want not to pass
these seeds to my spawn
Yet I don’t know how long
I can really go own.

If every night stabs
and every day steals
Each minute that passes
is one more to heal

So sick of the struggle
So tired from the fight
As I lie here and weep
Surviving this night

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One thought on “You’ll Love Me Through It or You Won’t

  1. Kaci. Your poems speak a lot of what a host of people feel but are not given the ability to express. Thank you personally for sharing your heart, soul and mind through these verses. I am 64 and know of no-one whose life has turned out the way they expect. I have you and your family in my heart and prayers. I love you!

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