Baseball Ready

It has been a long time since I’ve posted anything… and a LOT has happened.

I know many of you are following from other states, but since this blog reached 2,000 readers on last count, I wanted to reach out and let you know…

IF you live in the Nolensville area, IT’S BASEBALL TIME!!  Registrations is only one more week:  http://www.nyabaseball.com – you do NOT want to miss the incredible things that are happening this season.

I’m honored to be on the board & look forward to seeing you and your kiddos on the field this season!

Maurice Carter – What an incredible man!

I hate to cry. I really do. But there’s been an awful lot to cry about lately. Especially today with the loss of such a dear man. I am also a writer so one of the ways I naturally process things is through the written word, or through a song. Since it’s hard to let the music breathe through my tears, I thought I would write instead.

Maurice Carter. One man I never thought I would ever say ‘goodbye’ to, had the kind of Christ-filled life and sweet spirit (though he could get on to you as well) that I just knew God would leave around so we would know who to follow at the rapture. However, Maurice, after being missing since Friday, has been found to have passed away.

God was really showing off when He created Maurice!

See, Maurice always knew how to draw you closer to Jesus. Didn’t matter if it was the first time he met you, or if you’d been friends for years the Holy Spirit was so at work in his life that when he spoke, the angels stopped to listen because lives were about to be changed.

We were at a choir conference in SC when I was just 8 weeks pregnant with Ethan. Maurice was only one of two people on the trip who knew at the time. Maurice knew the whole story. He smiled through the tears in his eyes as he assured me that God had a plan for my life and this baby’s life.

He wept over my pain, rejoiced over the miracle, prayed over my body and sang to me as we got ready to lead the conference into worship. On our way home his smile was so bright as I told him about the word God gave me during our concert for one of the attendees.

Growing up in the Baptist church, the idea of hearing from the Holy Spirit was one thing, but the idea of actually speaking into someone’s life a word you believe you had received from the Holy Spirit… well that just didn’t happen.

That night as Landy lead our crew of singers and musicians, this one lady stood out to me as if a spotlight was shining down on her. I’ll never forget standing there and feeling like God was saying “Kaci, you need to talk to that woman.” Not only do you need to talk to her but you need to say specifically “Your son is coming home and your family will be restored.” As I stood there single and 8 weeks pregnant Maurice’s words kept echoing in my ear. “Kaci, when you think you can’t, that’s when God will.” God did have a plan for me and this night it was to talk to that woman.

As I approached her, shaking, I told her she would probably think I was crazy, but I felt like God wanted me to tell her “Your son is coming home and your family will be restored.”

As I spoke these words, I fully expected her to laugh at me, eyebrows raised being approached by a choir kook and brush me off. What happened was quite the opposite. This lady from NC burst into tears and grabbed my arm. She said “I don’t know who you are, but my son is a single dad and things aren’t good for him. He is raising his daughter on his own and I was praying that entire concert that God would just bring him home.”

As I told Maurice what happened, that ever so familiar smile returned to his face of “see, I told you…” but it was the kind you knew was rejoicing with you as his sister. He was also the first to laugh when he realized during a church service as a man gave a prophetic word that I thought he was speaking in tongues and that low and behold I, KACI ALLEN, was the one with the interpretation. (that’s another blog all in itself!!)

Oh – and on the way home, the bus driver hit a tree and the branch busted through the front window shattering glass on us, Maurice being one of the ones front and center… it was an “oh no he didn’t” laugh as soon as we realized we were all ok.

Maurice has also always been such an encouragement to me in the music industry as well. He’s been a sounding board for lyrics, tunes and even helped me connect for vocal sessions with producers I hadn’t met yet. I remember one day he was complimenting my versatility and said “I never know if I’m about to hear the black Kaci, or the country Kaci or if you’re gonna bust out some rock.” We have both been privileged to sing lead and BGVs for some amazing artists and writers and had a second home at Starbucks and a 3rd in the studio.

As the storm clouds roll in across the Nashville sky this afternoon, it’s as if the earth is grieving along with us. I believe God sees our hurt and pain and perhaps for a brief time, the weather is matching what our insides just don’t know how to express.

I don’t want anyone to suffer and would never wish death upon anyone, but I find myself wanting to barter with God and say “couldn’t you have taken so and so, and them, and that lady or what about that other guy… you know the one… or take 2 or 3 of them instead” and offer up 3 or 4 alternatives to Maurice. I want to scream, I want to cuss, I want to shake my fist and cry out and demand answers for why there is so much pain in this world. I think to myself, God, weren’t Eric & Emmy enough young souls… why Maurice too all these years laters. IT’S JUST NOT FAIR!!

And even though sometimes I don’t hear God as clearly as I’d like to, I still recall that tenor voice, confident, assured and loving and imaigne it would be saying “Oh girl, don’t cry for me… you have no IDEA what heaven is like! We weren’t even CLOSE to having it figured out. There are no words, no songs that will ever describe how glorious it is to be with our maker.” I imagine Maurice sitting with Jesus, not asking why so soon, but pointing saying “Hey look… that guy hasn’t prayed in 10 years, we weren’t so sure he ever would… and he’s talking to you now!!”

Maurice was one of the most creative talents I have ever met, but what will most live on for me is his intense love and passion for loving God first and then loving others.

I am honored and blessed that God would allow me to walk with him these last 12 years. My insides are hurting and I wish I could re-wind the last couple days and stop this from happening. I won’t enjoy another “nasty” at Starbucks with him, or another hug, or prayer, or song… but most of all I will miss his smile.

The last words Maurice said to me were after we planned a coffee date were “I love you and see you later.” Never goodbye, just see you later and take care.

Maurice Carter – There has never been another man like him, and I doubt there ever will. We rejoice and glory in your life and will miss you like crazy until we meet again!

I love you – see you later.

Kaci

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The OBVIOUS Devil

The devil used to be sneaky… now he’s just obvious.

What I mean is, he used to tempt or discourage me in ways that I thought were just a result of me being a flawed person. How many times has he tempted someone with “one more drink” or “it’s just a little lie” or even “no one has to know.”  The truth is we ALWAYS know!  I have made some great decisions in my life… and some equally stupid ones.

I remember once as a high school freshman, I used to ride home with my neighbor that was a junior.  One day two of her friends were with us and got the bright idea to ride on the hood of the car. While I made the “smart” decision of staying buckled inside, I did in fact encourage their adventure and once aboard, even made it a bit of a water ride for them by spraying wiper fluid on their backsides. It was so much fun and we laughed and laughed until we rode past some friend’s of ours from church and saw my dad’s car sitting out front.  Not only was it sitting out front, but both my mom and dad were outside and saw the little blue car go spraying by. It was not a good outcome for me when they got home.  I wasn’t punished, but the long “do you have any idea what could’ve happened” conversation seemed to droll on for hours.  Fortunately, my redemption was found in the fact that, while I was enjoying the ride, I was in fact not one of the girls on top the car!

When satan comes along to tempt or distract us, how often do we stop and ask ourselves “do you have any idea what could’ve happened” before responding. Often we react before we ask ourselves what the best route to take is, much less consulting with our “cloud of witnesses” or our God who’s perfect plan is actually now waiting on our next move. Life or death. Joy or despair. Often times the circumstances in our life are no more in our control than when the sun rises or sets, but our reaction to them always is.

Recently I have made some difficult decisions and changes in my life to pursue more what I believe God is calling me to with regards to my purpose in life. Change often produces growing pains and boy have I had my share of them… too many to mention in this blog.

But not long ago I was really hurt by something a “church person” did. Now before you go questioning the who and what details, let me ease your mind that it wasn’t a minister, staff member or anyone even related to them. It was a “plain ole church person.” (as if that isn’t an oxy moron… I don’t know if I have ever met a plain church person! More often than not, they’re some of the strangest people I’ve known, which is ok because I never claimed to be normal and would never want to insult someone with that label either.) But the plain ole part really comes from the place that I honestly don’t believe I have ever actually met this person.

The short of it is, I believe, that satan got mad.  He saw some incredible things happening in my life through worship, music and even in the lives of my high school friends and had to find a way to put an end to it.  So, he used the threat of hurting some of the most important people in my life to distract me from my own growth. I am not even sure that he actually did any permanent damage, but the seed of possibility was planted in my mind and for a creative person who tends to always flash-forward with the best and worst of each possibility, that was such an obvious way to make me freeze and retreat.

More than being hurt, and in another chapter I will reveal some of the most crazy and harmful “church experiences” I have had and know about that will blow your mind, but even as I want to protect myself from being hurt or experiencing any more pain in my walk of faith, I in no way wish to ever do harm to another. In fact the only ones I would ever get fired up about hurting, would be someone who was attempting to inflict pain on anyone in my own family, or a brother or sister in the body… then it’s “GAME ON!”

Needless to say, this even rocked my core.  It was “so small” and will probably never even be known by more than 3 or 4 people but it unlocked years of doubt and fears that honestly made me not ever want to step foot inside of a church again. (Please don’t misunderstand, I am NOT bashing “church people.”  My best friends are “church people” and I am a “church person” but what I am calling attention to is how we are blinded by the seemingly “small” ways satan gets a foothold into our lives and then into our church.

What better strategy!? If he can make me doubt or insecure about the Sunday morning smiles I encounter, assuring me they’re all fake and have ulterior motives, then I show up with walls and skepticism and anything but an open heart ready to receive the word God would speak to me. And if he can do that with me, he can do that with you. He can do that with any family.

So, if he can make me doubt, and you doubt and someone on every row show up with pre-conceived notions about how un-authentic or judgemental everyone else is, NO WONDER there is stereotypically so much pain caused within the walls of the church building.  But it’s not really who they (we) are!  It’s the version of each person that has allowed satan more power than God, at least in that moment, that shows up reeking havoc.

What if every Sunday every person came, checked their insecurities, fears and assumptions at the door and picked up new ones.  The idea that they are there to fellowship and love one another and that every single person in that room did indeed have their best interest in mind as well.

Do you think it would change the way we worship? How about the way we speak to each other? Would we rejoice when someone found healing rather than doubting it’s authenticity?  Would we welcome the hurting with open arms, or tell them our table is full because their jeans and sweatshirt doesn’t fit in with our finely pressed linen?

When someone told us no, or not now, would respect the boundaries they set for their family as following God’s leading, or assume that they’re a snob that just doesn’t want to be around us? At the same time, would we be more sensitive to when we appear to be a snob and perhaps communicate better, realizing that we are all in this together.

The fact is, if our men, women, boys and girls don’t find love and acceptance with us “church folks” they’re going to look for it elsewhere. I would much rather welcome someone with open arms and explain that I don’t have all the answers, but that my family and I would love to be on the journey with them and that they belong. I would much prefer giving hope and pouring out love and assuring them of their value than having them feel like a worthless castaway looking for someone to just care.

So back to me… I was hurt and actually thought, you know, maybe church just isn’t for me. Let’s face it, there aren’t a lot of places single parents fit in. Young single friends don’t understand the inability to have infinite spontaneity.  Married friends without kids don’t understand the responsibility of molding a shaping a little life and the married ones with kids tend to be uncomfortable when there’s not “another spouse” involved. (Don’t even get met started about the jealous wives at the baseball field that think I’m obviously try to take their husbands away from them, or that I’m somehow gay because I’m athletic. Sheesh! Honestly I worked hard with my dad and tons of coaches to get softball to pay for college and I want my son to have the best instruction possible.  And, I’m as straight as they come, but trust me, I don’t like leftovers and do not remotely want to steal your “prize” I have one of my own reserved just for me on his way!)

So satan flooded my mind with doubts and what ifs to the point I was ready to head for the hills and not return… and actually started to make that departure. THEN IT HIT ME… Wait a minute!… satan used to be sneaky, but this is so OBVIOUS!  He is trying to stop a good thing and he knows just what my mind needs to fear to do so. He knows who I care most about and that the threat of hurting them would cause me to bail. He knows that I’m a single parent and the idea of not “fitting in” when loud enough can cause me to close up shop. But when did we decide he even HAD a say in all this?!

My journey to be the best woman, mom and eventually wife that God has planned for me to be, CANNOT be determined or detoured by satan’s attempts at turning absurdities into catastrophes.

He does not win this one!

The scripture in James 1 comes to mind: “² Consider it pure joy, my brothers and sisters, whenever you face trials of many kinds, ³ because you know that the testing of your faith produces perseverance. ⁴ Let perseverance finish its work so that you may be mature and complete, not lacking anything.”

I don’t know about you, but I sure don’t want to “lack” anything necessary to realize my full potential in Him.

So what I’ve got to do is recognize these little big pains as opportunities for victory. My life and my son’s life are way too important to let one person or even a thousand people try to halt the great things God has planned. It’s not easy, but I believe I’m going to win this most recent round!

I just wish we could all, always, see these things for what they are, well scripted plans that satan is using because he knows what would cause the most dissension within ourselves and with the body.

Be on the look out!  Satan is rarely sneaky and often times obvious in how he tries to bring us down and he doesn’t deserve the power OR say because our future is not in or for him!

IN CLOSING, as our pastor and teachers would say:
James 1:19-27

¹⁹ My dear brothers and sisters, take note of this: Everyone should be quick to listen, slow to speak and slow to become angry, ²⁰ because human anger does not produce the righteousness that God desires. ²¹ Therefore, get rid of all moral filth and the evil that is so prevalent and humbly accept the word planted in you, which can save you.

²² Do not merely listen to the word, and so deceive yourselves. Do what it says. ²³ Anyone who listens to the word but does not do what it says is like someone who looks at his face in a mirror ²⁴ and, after looking at himself, goes away and immediately forgets what he looks like. ²⁵ But whoever looks intently into the perfect law that gives freedom, and continues in it—not forgetting what they have heard, but doing it—they will be blessed in what they do.

²⁶ Those who consider themselves religious and yet do not keep a tight rein on their tongues deceive themselves, and their religion is worthless. ²⁷ Religion that God our Father accepts as pure and faultless is this: to look after orphans and widows in their distress and to keep oneself from being polluted by the world.

Nearly Electrocuted at the Doctor’s Office

So I’m sure the headline caught your attention almost as much as it did the nurse who had the experience with me.

I haven’t had a primary care physician for quite a while because I am so rarely ever sick. But this year I decided it would be a good idea to find one and went in for a extensive physical to make sure head to toe everything was ok.

I wasn’t expecting to have an EKG done, but nevertheless was asked to take off my shirt and lie back while a fantastic nurse hooked all sorts of probes and wires to me connecting me to a large heart machine.

As I waited while these mini “jumper cables” were attached to me, I watched as she made sure the right probes were connected to the right pads. I reflected back to the one time I tried to jump start a car. I think it was my junior year in high school and my friend Kasey Peake’s car wouldn’t start after volleyball practice. I did in fact have jumper cables, because my dad had equipped my car with most everything you need to get it going. The only problem was, though I had watched several times, I was never actually taught how to use them. Seeing something done and actually doing it are two very different things.

But being the confident young woman that I was, I was sure there was nothing to it and we could figure it out. I knew the jest of how this worked, so I cranked up my red suzuki and attached the two red cables to my battery, (I wanted to match) then I am pretty sure I put the black ones on Kasey’s. Ever so sure of myself I instructed her to then crank up her car.

Now, what I expected to happen was her car to crank right up, we’d high five and be on our way… but the reality was quite opposite. As soon as she turned the ignitions, sparks flew everywhere. It popped and shook and smoke was coming out. I was so scared she was going to blow up in the car, and so hysterically laughing at how completely ridiculous I must’ve looked setting off fireworks in the high school parking lot as everyone turned around to watch the show, that I was BARELY able to get out the words “Turn it off, turn it off, ST-O-O-O-OP!” I was in tears I was laughing so hard. Of course, it wasn’t my car that was now smoking.

By this time I was too scared to touch the cables for fear I would be electrocuted so I motioned for one of the guys to come over and get these things OFF. I don’t remember how we managed to get her car cranked, or if she just came home with me that day but I remember enough that I’ve never attempted to jump a car again.

So as she hooked me up to this machine my eyes filled with tears of laughter as I wondered what she would do if she turned the machine on and I started popping and jerking and flailing around uncontrollably.

Though I am an extremely savvy businesswoman, I don’t always think about how my attempts at enjoying life in the real world, creating “memorable scenes” as Donald Miller & Bob Goff would say, may actually affect those who are unknowingly about to forever become a part of my story in a memorable way.

So for whatever reason, with Kasey’s car in mind, as soon as she got everything hooked up and flipped the switch on the machine, I started screaming and convulsing in a manner that I perceived most closely reflected how someone would react if they were being electrocuted. Sort of like Mel Gibson did in “What Women Want” when he fell into the tub along with a running hair dryer.

I will never ever forget the look on that nurse’s face. Her eyes, wide as a three year old in front of a birthday cake, her mouth dropped to the floor and she stammered around in a panic wondering what the heck was happening to me and if she should pull the plug, start CPR or just RUN.

I didn’t last very long before I again found myself laughing so uncontrollably I couldn’t speak. When she came back into the light and realized what had happened and that I was actually ok, fortunately she joined in laughing with me. We exchanged a few pleasantries and I just said “Hey, that’s just payback for you opening that door with me sitting here topless.”

She finished the test and then later I was told the EKG was normal, but she wasn’t so sure about my mental state. (Many of my friends could’ve told her that one without the $20 co-pay.)

One of the ways I believe God has gifted me, is in the ability to take risks and to do things other people may not even think about doing. Like Patch Adams and his red nose, my friend Sandy Griffin uses a similar approach to bring laughter into the lives of those who seem at their darkest point.

My best friend Baley says I’m the only person in the world that truly makes him nervous because he is just never really sure what I’m about to do. He also knows I would do anything in the world for him because I love him unconditionally and want only great things for his life. I guess I should take comfort in that because in a way that’s how I feel about life and what God is up to. I know he has an incredible sense of humor, and a handful of “first dates” that I’ve been on is proof of that! But, I am never really sure what He is going to do next. I believe ultimately He has a wonderful plan and purpose for my life, plans to prosper and not to harm me, (Jer 29:11) All too often I find myself trying to help him out, and in many ways limiting what He is able to do through me because I get caught up in the how’s and why’s rather than just living in the moment and taking each new adventure as it comes. I stop trusting the process and try to control where I am headed rather than truly surrendering to His perfect will. That’s a hard thing to do.

When I focus on creating these memorable scenes in my own life and for those around me, there is such a shift in perspective. It’s like my friend and mentor Bret Allen text me today reminding me that it’s because I’m “fully alive” (John 10:10) The theif comes to steal, kill & destroy. He comes to try and steal my joy, kill my spirit and destroy my hopes and dreams. But every time I take a risk and truly live in the moment, not only do I bring laughter and joy and hope to my own life, but I can see the spirit of those around me come alive.

Whenever I, for example, dance like Madea at Winterjam and one or two of my high school friends roll in hysterical laughter I see them forget about whatever may be happening in their own life and that joy “sparks” in their eyes igniting a new hope and at least in those moments, that hour, or that day there is hope for a better tomorrow. It opens up an avenue for me and I “earn the right” to speak into their life. No agenda, not ulterior motives, just a fully grounded love for them as beautiful creations, made in God’s image that I want to experience the promises of fully living. The promise that life as a Christian isn’t about this long list of things we “can’t” do, but it is, rather, a license to live freely, fully and without fear knowing that our creator has a plan and a purpose. It doesn’t mean everything will be perfect and isn’t a membership of easy living. When we can, however, take our eyes of the earthly, and focus on the kingdom, good things become great and bad things become annoyances rather than impediments.

Oh how I wish I truly walked in this freedom every minute of every day. I can promise you this though, I am sure trying and I bet that nurse will never forget the laughter we shared today. I would challenge and love to hear about a memorable scene you create this week for you or those around you. You don’t have to serenade Cracker Barrel (but call me if you do.) Even going out of your way to open a door for someone can change their day and in turn can change yours.

Kaci

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* Many of you asked for more pictures, so here is a fun shot of my best friend Baley & I, just after a lesson in how to do a cartwheel… Truthfully, he makes me equally as “nervous” and I adore his love for life! (Plus, I knew if I posted a picture of him, he would absolutely visit and read this blog )

What Kind Of Fish Are You?

Many of you know, last week we welcome 3 new members into our ‘family.’ A white fish, named Kevin Flynn, and two black with white stripes named Sam Flynn & Quorra. (All named by my adorable sam-flynn-like 4 year old son, who was at THE 1st showing of Tron: Legacy, who wanted to see it again for Christmas and who is determined to have a role in the sequel! Disney, we are happy to help! )

Anyway, as we picked out these fish, he was very determined to find just the right ones. We even looked through all the “fish ornaments” (I call them aquarium toys) to find something that most represented the ‘portal’ on the movie. Seeing none, we opted for a pirate ship & skull that reminded him of Pirates of the Caribbean & the 10 times we rode it on his first trip to DisneyWorld back in November.

Our last attempt at having fish was a fail within a week, but these guys look like fighters! A little apprehensive at first in their “new home” they’re now settling in amongst the black gravel, movie themed home and really seem to like it.

As I was winding down for the night, I went in to check on them and give them a little food. I crumpled up some tropical flakes and was intrigued by what I saw.

The flakes floated along the top of the water, then one small piece drifted down. In seconds, ‘Sam Flynn’ darted across the tank and inhaled it! The other two didn’t even have a chance.

Game On!

As pieces began to slowly drift down into the water, each fish began to race for the tiny crumb that was wisping around, being swirled by the filter and water movement, making it hard to catch.

Then to my surprise, a fight broke out! Yes, I said it, Sam Flynn began antagonizing Kevin Flynn and nipping at his tail. Then as one fish would get closer to the swirling crumb, the other two would chase it away together, then fight each other for it.

Teamwork, then enemies, all for a bit of a flake!

As I watched, much like an armchair-quarterback, I found myself wanting to yell “Go to the top!! There’s plenty of food for all of you and it’s just floating on the top. If you just look up, you’ll see it. And it’s not swirling, it’s not out of control, you aren’t going to have to fight anybody for it, and they’re even much bigger, less soggy pieces! Just look up!!”

But alas the chase continued.

My overly creative and ‘analogitic’ mind couldn’t help but relate the “Tron Fish” to you and me.

I know not all who read my blog believe in God, or Christ as your Lord, as I do. Some refer to their deity as their higher power, or speak of how the universe makes things happen for us. Some believe it’s all just a big crap shoot and nobody or no thing is in control at all. And many others aren’t sure what you believe.

I’m not here to argue or debate you or tell you that you’re wrong because I respect my readers more than to lump you in any category.

What I do believe is this. There’s way too much fighting going on.

Just because one person is blessed, doesn’t mean someone else is going to have to do without. Whoever put in our minds that there wasn’t enough to go around? There’s plenty; more than enough! And if for some reason there’s not, we can make more! (Just ask the feds that print our money! – ok I digress)

My point is, how many times do we find ourselves like the “Tron Fish” busting our tails, fighting our neighbors or colleagues, or even our closest friends to get what?… A spiraling out of control CRUMB!? When if only we could stop panicking, and ‘look up’ we would see an abundance of blessings and LIFE just waiting to be taken in. Peaceful, joy that we don’t have to fight for, but if we’re willing to surrender the swirling crumbs, we open ourselves up to a much bigger feast! A feast where no one has to nip at our tails to get their fill, but a feast in which there is plenty.

But all too often, we exhaust our energy in trying to just get by that we forget there’s more out there than we ever dreamed possible… We just have to look in the right place.

So what are your eyes fixed on? The stack of bills that you have no idea how to pay? Hey, I’ve got a stack of my own, so I understand that. A medical diagnosis, or lack of answers for your healing? Yep, understand that one too! Fear, uncertainty, lack, pain, anger, hate, bitterness? Holding on to, and fighting through all of these things can and will keep you from true joy. I’m not saying we should ignore these problems by any means, or just rollover and let whatever happens happen. NO! You better swim to the best of your ability and use all the talents you’ve been given! But, what I am saying, is stop fighting for less than the best in life.

How many olympic track athletes really dream of waking up and fighting for 4th place? No way! They run, eyes on the prize, their best race. They certainly don’t waste energy nipping the tail of someone that looks as though they might win. (Well, there was that one ice skater) but the majority of them keep their eyes fixed on the prize.

One of the things my family taught me early on was that you don’t have to agree with someone to respect them. You don’t have to like everybody, but you certainly don’t seek to cause harm to anyone. And I also learned that I’m not God, nor was I given the title of Chief Judge to criticize the race you’re running.

It is, however, my aim to run my race in such a way that you desire to train with me. That we can fix our eyes on greater things, not threatened by one another, but with a desire to build each other up and in doing so we all end up in a better place than we ever thought possible.

I will disagree with you at some point. I disagree with myself plenty, so you’re in good company. But I will still love you. There’s a difference between acceptance and approval, and while if we disagree, I can accept you for who you are, it doesn’t mean I’m going to raise a flag in your honor promoting your cause.

I love the song “You’ve got to stand for something, or you’ll fall for anything!”

So it’s your call… Be like our “Tron Fish” and keep nipping or getting nipped at while you fight for crumbs, or make a choice to respect the rest of those you’re doing life with, support them, build them up, and attract others to train with you as you ‘look up!’

Game On.

** P.S. We love the movie Tron: Legacy & recommend it. The analogy of the fish is in no way meant to discourage you from seeing the movie, and has nothing to do with the theme of the movie because it was great! Only that my son loved the movie enough to name his prized fish after 3 of the main characters! **

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Racism vs Just Loving People. What’s your conversation focused on?

I was reading some posts online encouraging families to talk to their kids about racism… And I don’t think I’m going to, at least not yet.

Now, I’ve been wrong before, but just hear me out.

I wonder sometimes, why the word racism can’t be banished from our vocabulary altogether. What I mean is, my friends just don’t seem to talk about it like the older folks used to. And not all old folks are that way either.

My granny taught me growing up, by example, that you were to give as God had blessed you to anyone in need, not based on what they looked like or what part of town they lived in. I remember hearing a story at her funeral about a black family in her neighborhood that had a death in their family. Culturally, they typically mourn
and visit a little differently or at least longer than we would. Apparently they did not have enough room, or the heat or something wasn’t working right, and my granny opened up her doors to them and her house became theirs. She wasn’t looking at color, she was meeting a need. My granny was born in 1918, so maybe she was a rarity back in those days, but I’m thankful to have been in this family!

I try so hard to teach my little guy to love & respect people. All people. And we don’t talk to, or act differently to our black friends than we do our white friends or our tan friends, or our Indian friends or our Persian friends, or our Russian friends, or our African friends, or our Chinese friends, or our Japanese friends, or our Iranian friends, or our Latino friends, or our Italian friends, or our Arab friends, or our redneck friends, or our country club friends, or our young friends or our old friends or our rich friends or our poor friends or our Christian friends or our non-Christian friends,…

I would be ok with him not even knowing what the word “racism” means.

While I fully understand acknowledging historical events & men and women who literally re-wrote history and made our country the tapestry it is today, I sometimes wonder if an over-emphasis on discussing racism, doesn’t have the opposite affect. Its as if it divides us all the more rather than uniting.

When the floods hit Nashville in May 2010, my mom and I were trying to get home and the roads were literally washing out in front of our eyes. There was nowhere to go, and nowhere to take shelter when the tornado sirens were blasting and Lisa Patton from channel 2 was on the radio telling us to all take cover.

We were stuck and scared.

I jumped out of the car, water past my knees, literally sucked the shoes off my feet. I ran to a community clubhouse (locked) while mom ran to the first house she saw and began beating on the door.

Two high school teenagers let us in their house to seek cover. We were so grateful and thanked God for providing this refuge for us.

They brought us towels, even offered us a drink. (Which ended up being Dr. Pepper, but honestly in that moment, soaking wet, no shoes, dripping in their foyer, knowing how close we’d come to being swept away and knowing the journey that still lie ahead of us as the rain continued to pour, I could’ve used something a little stronger.)

We looked around and there were several Buddhas and statues on the shelves & every tables.

I am so very glad they didn’t look out their window and see two white Christians and decide not to open their door. Instead, they saw two people in danger, needing shelter and they opened their door.

Granted, in this day opening your doors to strangers can be dangerous, just as entering in to a strange person’s home can be, and we wouldn’t have done it except for the dire circumstances we were in.

But I wonder how many of us walk or drive by someone every day who feels like their world is “flooding” and they are about to drown in worry, fear, regret, addiction, shame, bills, or perhaps just feeling like nobody really loves them. We see them, but we never open our doors to do anything practical to reach out to them, even something as simple as a place to rest a few minutes from the storm.

Sometimes that place to rest could be a 5 minute conversation, or even an hour long cup of coffee where, if for only an hour, they don’t feel completely alone as the sirens are blasting.

So as we honor Dr. King tomorrow, I think he would probably agree that though our intentions may be pure, he’d rather us all continue to love each other as human beings instead of focusing on anything that could be further divisive. How much more of a tribute would it be, rather than to march, to reach out & feed a starving man, or clothe a freezing child, or as so many of our friends have done, adopt a child who may otherwise never know the meaning of “belonging.”

Maybe that’s just my opinion, but it’s my blog and I wanted to express it. I hope my son never has to be “talked to” about racism, other than in the context of it was something horrible that once existed.

‘We hold these truths to be self evident, that all men are created equal.‘ Let’s really treat each other that way. Or, what if you treated everyone like they were a priceless treasure, of great value…
That would turn just about bad statistic around.

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The Fire Ethan Put Out!

Being a single mom is anything but easy.  The horrific events that lead up to my becoming one has affected me physically and emotionally more than you could ever imagine.  However, out of this awful event, has come my BIGGEST blessing… my son, Ethan.

Every day I am faced with the challenge of providing for us and making sure all his needs are met.  In this economy it’s hard to do that in most homes where two parents are present, so imagine cutting the support in half and doubling the responsibility… welcome to my life.  As hard as the “practical” things are, I also try VERY hard to create the best life for him possible, packing it full of memories that will last a lifetime!!  Bob Goff & Donald Miller have taught us to refer to these as “Memorable Scenes.”

Tonight I wanted to share just one of our many ”memorable scenes”:::

Not long ago, Ethan saw a play fireman costume I bought him a while back, that was just now almost his size.

He wanted to wear is to bed, but instead we decided it would be better to lay it out in the chair by his bed and wait til morning.

He asked “Mommy, when you wake me up tomorrow, will you say ‘DANGA DANG DANG DANG DANG ‘ like the fireman’s bell, so I can jump up and get dressed like a fireman?

I said “Sure,” knowing we’d both be groggy and it may freak him out, being awakened from sleep to my version of a “fireman’s bell.”

So, my alarm went off in my room & I was ready to see how his little 4-year-old face responded to such an abrupt awakening.  But, I didn’t wake him right away.

Instead, I gathered up all the candles in the house, and took them out into the back yard, spaced them around the patio and sidewalk, lit them all and ran back up to his room.
 
“DANGA DANGA DANGA DANGA DANGA DANGA,” I began quietly, then as he became conscious enough to realize he had requested this startling, crescendoed to a full on 4 alarm fire bell!

He leapt out of bed, fell on the floor, rolled to his jacket, put it on, then his hat & looked with such accomplishment as he said “Look, mommy, I told you I would get right up!” I said “Oh, come on, you gotta put out the fire.”
 
He smiled big, and started down the stairs after me. He played along for a few steps then stopped and exclaimed, “WHAT FIRE?” 
 
I ran down the stairs toward the back door & he followed. When he saw the candles his eyes lit right up.  He pretended to spray with his make-believe water-laser-buzz-light-year thing that was invisible on his left arm.

I shouted “Come on, you grab the hose and start unrolling it and I will open up the water flow!!”
 
Eyes wide, he started unrolling it and said “GIVE IT ALL YOU GOT” as he began to douse each candle, and both of us, with the backyard-turned- fireman’s hose.
 
We high-fived at such a job well done and saving the day, and then he helped me roll the hose back on the ‘truck.’

Of course, then he asked if we could do the same thing the next morning too, but I think we’ll write a new exciting memorable scene instead.

About Me

I received notification that my “About Me” page on my blog had not been completed, so since I couldn’t sleep, decided to jot down a few of the first things that came to mind. A thousand words later…

Hope you enjoy::

About Me: Let’s see…

Hair: Blonde (yes, naturally, but natural blondes aren’t who the jokes are about. We’re the smart ones!)
Eyes: Blue
Ht: 5’9″
Wt:Not in a million miles
Age:Less than a thousand years

I love to laugh & make people laugh. I am a hard worker. In my spare time I am an entertainer & enjoy watching Andy Griffith.

I was once privileged to make a girl in ICU fighting for her life after an attempted suicide laugh & actually see her eyes light up again.

I try to be a realistic encourager to others. I enjoy speaking hope into the hopeless, helping the hurting find value in themselves, and using my talents and abilities to change and save lives.

In 2001 I graduated from Belmont University.
In 2002 I built my first house, after going through Get The Edge by Tony Robbins.
In 2005 I was raped & became pregnant.
In 2006 I became a single mom to the MOST amazing little boy! Out of the toughest tragedy has become the biggest blessing!

My family, of which there is no comparison, is the best. My mom & dad & especially Ethan. The Martin’s, Barnhills & a few of the crazy Allen’s are tough as nails & nothing is thicker than blood.

My Uncle Brooks once hurled a softball at me in the middle of a crowded funeral home, in the same room where the casket was, while people were paying their respects. I caught it!

My closest friends in my “inner-circle” I call my “Dream Team.”. They are the first to encourage & challenge me to be a better version of me.

My childhood best friend, since birth, is TJ. They used to call us the “dynamic duo.” We call ourselves Juice & Ice, because one makes the other better. I once drove her car 123mph which was fast back in the late 90′s!

The most incredible person in my life not related to me is Baley. There’s no way I can describe him & do him justice so I’ll just say that he is the air I want to breathe, and loves me unconditionally. That person you long to be around because in their presence you ARE the best ‘you’ possible & you don’t have to pretend to be anything else! He is the most real person that ‘gets’ literally every point in my life and always encourages & believes in me. I don’t know what I’d do without him & the mere fact that he is in my life is further evidence of how much God loves me.

Two of my strongest spiritual mentors ever are Rob & Bret. They share my affection for our high school friends & love me like a sister. To say I appreciate them, doesn’t even scratch the surface.

I am thankful for my ‘coach!’

Though I haven’t physically seen them in 100 years, Randy & Noel are two of the greatest people you could ever have in your life & I’m still praying for their Nashville return!!

Becky – the sister I never had, married to Randall, the brother-in-law that likes to shoot things, and speaks bold truth! (Usually not at the same time.)

I miss Scott Koch.

When I was in the hospital, my friend Allen watched The Three Stooges with me bedside, until I finally fell asleep.

I’m so incredibly grateful for Harrison & all he has meant to me the last almost 10 years.

I want to spend a week at Bob Goff’s.

My favorite writer in high school was the poet, Emily Dickinson. My favorite author now is Donald Miller.

I’ve never shyed away from controversy, but make it a point to show respect to all people.

My friend Joanne Miller just released her 2nd children’s book & I cried when I read it! (I don’t cry often!)

My gynecologist is also a dear friend of mine, & has been for 12 years now. (I was his patient first, then He, his wife & I were Young Life leaders together.) Nothing gets a reaction from your friends quite like saying you’re going to your GYNO’s for dinner!

When Robert says “I’m so glad you asked that question,” or “what a wonderful place we find ourselves” I know the conversation is gonna be good. Bring It!!

Jana? How have we not known each other… Like forever? You’re the only person that’s made me fall in the floor laughing, without pushing me 1st. Road Trip!!

Jordyn Mallory is my little sister.
I’m a Jade-Fan.
Kaytlin is my twin.
Madeline & Taylor are best friends, but both secretly adore me more.
Olivia is an inspiration.
Marlee, Michelle & Hannah are the best slappers I know.
A day w/out a text from Liz isn’t a bright as those WITH!
“Team Rudolph” is on speed dial & I want them to stay seniors forever. (Not really, well sorta)
I adore the TYM.

Aside from my family, my passions are writing, music, sports & my high school friends.

I adore singing with two Davids & a Mark.

David Graham & I are a honky tonk country match made in heaven. And, when I sing with David Gutekunst I feel like the doors of Heaven are opened & my soul comes alive! And quite frankly, there’s no one I’d rather play a Round with, (Play a ROUND, not play around, ITR, Music, a gig, its a Nashville thing) than Mark Box.

Jessica, Jaclyn & Jocelyn are 3 incredible women I’m blessed to have in my life.

I am a Phi Mu & love my sisters.

I love shoes. Especially heels & cowboy(girl) boots.

I grew up on the beach and always maintain a fabulous collection of flip flops.

I always put my right shoe on first.

I hit .602 my senior year as a softball player.

I have a state championship title in women’s racquetball.

I only buy Chiquita bananas.

I have an incredible Wed night “small group”,… And a few ‘rowdy’ women that make me laugh when I feel like crying.

My car almost got swept away numerous times in the May ’10 floods with me & my mom in it!

I love roller coasters, jet skis, water & snow skiing, water slides & Beacon Tea.

I once taught an entire Spin class to John Mayer.

I have degrees in Business and Marketing.

Though there are so many more wonderful people in my life all around the world & I have had some incredible experiences, I don’t have any idea what more you could possibly want to know about me, for this random hodgepodge, granolla of an “About Me” page. But, I’m definitely open to sharing more, and would love to have you subscribe to my blog!

Thank you for joining the journey with us… It’s an incredible one!

iHagah!

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Please Pray!

1/11/11 at midnight:
E has no fever & is sleeping!! Yeah!! Thank you for your prayers!!

It snowed a lot here today, but he didn’t want to go outside, which was a huge blessing that I didn’t have to explain why we couldn’t.

Appreciate ya’ll very much!

3AM: This is a quick post for the hundreds of you that I’m honored read my blog, but don’t follow facebook or twitter updates as closely.


Tonight (this morning) I’d ask that you keep my 4 year old son, Ethan in your thoughts & prayers. He currently has a fever of 104.2. He’s talking a little “high-fever-crazy-talk” and isn’t very comfortable.

For those who don’t know, I just got out of the hospital Wednesday after a week long stay due to massive head pain that started 12/26 after a fall. Still have the pain & a lineup of dr. Apt next week.

My primary concern right now, is Ethan. His fever started Friday spiking suddenly up to 103 but held steady from 101.5-102 throughout Friday night despite not resting well & waking up about every hour. Tonight, the sleep pattern is at best a 10-15 minute doze, followed by a scream or call out for me, not realizing I’m right beside him.

I’ve contacted the pediatrician and the nurse actually listened to his drivel over the phone. I’m monitoring his temperature and we’re going in first thing in the morning, but definitely appreciate your prayers in the meantime.

Thank you for allowing me to use this blog for this purpose tonight.

My heart aches for my little guy… and I appreciate your love & support!

Kaci

NOON:
Ethan is positive for the flu. AND Mom got checked while we were there & SHE has the flu…

AND on top of everything else, so do I.

Please pray for miracles. Provision, Favor, Wisdom & Protection.

We need this. Kaci

* Be nice & show respect to everyone… we’re all human.

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www.kaciallen.com
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How Now Shall We Trust?

Yesterday, I was talking about “The Christmas Story” with some friends.  The question was asked of me why I thought the “virgin birth” was significant and uniquely necessary.

As I began to speak, the story came alive to me like never before.  My basic conclusion was the following::

“God created Adam; perfectly.  Adam fell to sin and everyone born after him came into the world with a sinful nature. If God had “selected” a child conceived under “normal” conditions, it makes sense that child wouldn’t have been an exception, but also born with the fleshly sin nature.

Instead, God chose to sort of split it down the middle.

In order for Jesus to be fully God and fully man, He was physically born like every other man on earth, yet was conceived like no one else.

I began to think about the faith it took for Mary & Joseph.  A pregnant virgin; now that’s powerful.  But, Mary knew she was a virgin.  She knew she had not slept with anyone, so she KNEW this baby was different, special and of God. Joseph, was really just taking her word for it.  I mean, sure, the whole angel appearing thing was definitely a sign, but an angel appeared to Zechariah as well and how did that work out for him? (At least til after John was born, he was rather ‘speechless’).

But aside from that, Joseph had to REALLY trust in God as well as Mary, trusting that she was in fact still pure.  There was no way for him to ever really know that he KNEW… You know?

It hit me so hard as I pondered these things in my heart… (pun intended)

As I am in the midst of praying for my own “miracles” and have no idea how the answers and direction I seek will make themselves known, I struggle with the “unseen.”  As spontaneous and daring as I am, there are some areas I prefer not to be quite so “fly-by-the-seat” like with my bank account, or decisions about career or family.  I’d much rather have that pretty guaranteed.

But what I find myself wanting more than anything right now is the ability to fully surrender and trust.  The assurance, not brought about by having to go through my own ‘hell’ to experience His rescue, but the ability to trust no matter the circumstance.

Through the good and during the tough seasons, I want trust like the fiance of a pregnant virgin would’ve had to have.